How To Congratulate Najib

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This is how you tactfully congratulate the winner of an election that was riddled with many discrepancies while still maintaining diplomatic relations.

Full article here.

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This is how you... I don't know... what is this?

Full article here.

Diplomacy is very important for our very small country, after all we could so easily be drowned with a force no bigger then our neighbour's ejaculation. Yet, to write congratulatory letters gushing out Singapore's undying support for Najib's deserved win in a fair fight, when there were reports of division and instability, is... is... I don't know what it is and I do not want to anyhow hantam. Maybe they're buddies. Facebook group friends. Or something.

Leaving out the first paragraph and sticking with the next two on how our countries look forward to his term would have sufficed.

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On another note, I like this article on the winners and losers of GE13. It provides a clearer picture of Malaysia's political scene.

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MY GE2013 Top 3 Kelong List

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As I was following the Malaysian Elections, I can feel for my fellow neighbours.

The Malaysian ruling party has now become the poster boy for being the number one kelong king. The best part is that these tactics were obviously blatantly dubiously in your face, but no plot initiators were apprehended, investigated, or caught. Here's my top three list of why they are can retain the elite seat of kelong king.

3. Banglasia

My heart goes out to the Bangladeshi workers paid to be phantom voters, only to get themselves mobbed and stoned. It created so much turmoil that legit voters were confronted and accused of being foreign workers. Sending in busloads of phantom voters who weren't so phantom (facebook photo link) managed to get some votes for BN at the huge expense of foreign workers (facebook video link). I seriously don't think the Bangladeshi workers knew what they were getting into. For all we know they could simply be following orders, or worse, forced against their will to conspire.

2. Indelible Ink

Turns out it's not so permanent after all. Why? They attributed it to the requirement that the ink has to be halal. Correct me if I'm wrong, but halal products refer to the humane slaughter of animals via prayer rituals for meat consumption. Indelible ink widely used for voting is composed of silver nitrate and water. Although, some countries can choose to have alcohol compounds in their ink to facilitate drying, but this is not an integral part of the ink. For Malaysia's washable unwashable ink, one can only suck thumb and watch the tight security measure wash down the longkang.

And the number one farce goes to...

1. MAGIC BALLOT BOXES

They appear conveniently. Not so efficiently. Sometimes at the very last minute. And one or two will pop up during 10 minute blackouts at polling stations. I haven't been able to verify this though, the information I received was through live Facebook status updates. At this point of time, social media status updates would appear to be more credible then what has been voted as the dirtiest election Malaysia has seen. Thus, I shall leave you with my favourite video from this entire election.


I suspect most of our ministers on our shore are using our neighbours as a bar, and have since been giving themselves one too many pats on the back. I can hear Khaw Boon Wan's voice now, he's in my head telling me how ungrateful I am for not worshiping the effectiveness of our ruling party. I have PAP already, why would I want any improvements? It is not vital for my success. Have lower expectations and work as crane operators. Boleh.

To my Malaysian friends, do not lose hope. Continue with your strength in fighting corruption, and building democracy. These episodes would serve to fuel your passion and creativity. Willpower favours survivors, unless you wish to trade that and become mindless sheep like your island neighbour.

How? Go Where Sia?

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We've said it one too many times, where to go ah? Deciding where, what, how, and less often then not why. As always, small things avalanche itself in a grander scheme, and life in Singapore will ultimately evolve from wandering to "anything la". Where to go in life, that would be the trickiest destinations of them all.

Where would I go from here? This unsettling thought had been with me since late last year, and it has now magnified from splinter-in-your-toe size to wearing-crocs size. So glaringly ugly that I can no longer ignore it. Would it be that I want more money? I want more responsibilities? Or do I feel that my work would be put to good use somewhere else? It isn't so severe to constitute it as a mid life crisis, my loin hasn't started lusting after young, tan, stallions. Let us term it as a "middle life drudgery". 

We all get confused during certain periods of our life. Should we buy 4432 or 2344? Should we take the job offer? Should we buy BTO or whack private? At least it is between choices that are already set. The type of confusion where you cannot visualise any direction would leave one unnecessarily restless. While my time is spent in lusterless movements, contradicted with a want to create (and procreate), I find myself stuck in a limbo that even inebriation cannot soothe. What should I do? 

So. You may have felt the shift in your psyche too. Not you young ones, or retiring ones, it's the "middle life drudgery" tectonic plate. Do you want to remain in your air conditioned office pushing out papers like a sushi conveyer belt? Do you feel that something is amiss when you read about champagne popping trust fund babies who spend $49,000 per night? Are you frustrated by your high income lifestyle on your middle income earnings? Or maybe you're fixed on the outside but lost on the inside? 

It's one of 'em existential blitzes caused by so much going on around us. The media machine gives us the crying and the dying, while they drip us with measurements of a Monaco luxury. Ok I wrote that because it's always so easy to blame the media, the government, your mother, or your grandfather.

I know that I was meant to do something, but I just don't know what.

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Good Morning Mr Bus Driver

How do we get around Singapore?

Buses nowadays are not my preferred form of traveling. It's a crowded unenjoyable roller coaster ride.

Peak period train rides aren't my cup of tea either. Sardined, and my shoes get trampled on.

Driving isn't your solution, the numerous cars jam up the roads causing 1 hour commutes.

Yet, getting depressed over commuting in Singapore isn't what this entry is about. On the other hand, it is about a very nice bus captain I had the fortune to meet 2 mornings ago. He was greeting everyone, yes everyone, that boarded his bus. Good morning indeed, it managed to brighten some sulky faces, and it certainly delighted me. I gave him my best rendition of a beauty queen's smile.

This led me to thinking of providing a positive feedback to SBS. They receive tons of complaints every other minute, it scares to think that these negativities would only serve to demotivate and create more grouches bored of their jobs. If I have to handle mindless irritants who don't move to the back of the bus everyday, I'd want to bitch slap everyone too.

Granted, I too had so often wanted to complain complain complain about nasty bus rides. One day maybe I'll also call police. I decided to refrain because a) it is a petty thing to do and b) spreading good karma might be the solution.

I hope that my little feedback form can keep the Mr Wonderful Bus Driver motivated so that he can spread his good mornings to other bus drivers. Maybe these other bus drivers can have a kind heart and stop throwing young and old passengers like a tumble dryer on speed. Brake no need money one.

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Date: 22/4/13
Time: 8:30am - 8:40am
Bus Service No.: 14
Bus Registration No.: SBS9276M
Boarding Bus Stop: Park Mall
Alighting Bus Stop: Youth Park

I would like to write in and compliment the bus captain on this service route. He is a lanky gentleman with a head of greying hair. I found to my utter delight that he was greeting "good mornings" to the passengers. Such courtesy goes beyond the call of duty, especially since ALL (29 out of 30 to be exact) other bus captains are grumpy, deranged, individuals who likes to jam their brakes and hurl me across the bus. Please do help me thank this bus captain, he brightened my morning and made my day. SBS is extremely fortunate to have him.

PS. The station master at Boon Keng MRT station on 23/4/13 at around 8pm was also a delight to talk to. He was very kind in providing me instructions on how to mail out the feedback form.

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Numbers 2013 Downloaded

It's time once more to play the price is right.

This year's Budget Highlights is rather uninteresting. The official 2013 wasn't as detailed compared to 2012, of which I had wrote about same time last year. This year, apart from the change in car ownership rulings, and subsidizing 40% of salary increments, nothing much stood out. Do read the picture book version of the budget speech here (without details on the 40% downpayment 5 year maximum loan for new car ownership).  Back to the numbers report, I was disappointed that they didn't include the Headcount by Ministry, that would be interesting to know. As always, you can click on the image to enlarge it.

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Revenue for 2012 - Corporate and personal tax, and GST fuels our country, taking up more then half of the total revenue. Vehicle quota premiums and motor vehicle taxes remained about the same, but made up for a whopping 8% of the revenue compared to 3.8% last year. Don't be mistaken, this is just the percentage based off total revenue. The actual amount from vehicle taxes actually reduced by about 0.1b from 2011. It could be that other areas have been receiving tax exemptions or rebates, but the motoring industry certainly weren't given any slack.

With the changes made toward financing a car, it might succeed in reducing the numbers. On the other hand, this may allow the cash rich and high income one percent-ors to purchase more vehicles when COEs are reduced. The end scenario might see the wealthy own more cars, the middle income own no cars, and the poor seeing no difference in traffic congestion. Eat smog y'all.

Here are the exact figures:

Corporate and income tax were the largest increase (by figures, not by percentage) at 1 billion. We have got more investors on our shores, and it's good to see companies thriving. On personal income, my speculation here would be that the local millionaires are also thriving, and we've granted more citizenship to the obscenely rich faster then you can say Eduardo.

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Expenditure for 2012 - Many people have asked, take our money, tax our car, only to go into their pockets. No. It does not. Ministers are already paid their millions, and most of it goes back into running the country.

4% goes into government administration. A cool 2 billion dollars. They were smart not to dissect it to include government rumination, because it's too obscene to be aired in public. Even street walkers cover their lady bits when they're selling their wares.

My personal view is that I do not mind them politicians getting paid top dollar to run a country, god knows it is more difficult then running an MNC. I do mind paying mindless scholars with zero EQ the same amount. I also do mind that our policies haven't improved much. Lastly, I do mind that my children will have a hard time scrapping for a roof over their head regardless of the millions of dollars we had paid our politicians. Smells like an insurance scam.

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Trend in Social Development Expenditure - Why do I include this in? For this quote:

The Government’s revenues started to grow at a faster pace from FY2006 onwards as the economy recovered. The improvements in the Government’s fiscal position enabled us to step up our investments in the Social Development sector, such as healthcare infrastructure, and introduce new programmes like the Workfare Income Supplement Scheme. Consequently, social expenditure rose rapidly, by 76% between FY2006 and FY2012, from $13 billion to $23 billion. The share of social expenditure in total government expenditure (including government endowment fund expenditure) also rose from 43% in FY2006 to 45% in FY2012. On a per resident basis, social expenditure grew by 63% from $3,681 in FY2006 to $5,995 in FY2012. This works out to an annual growth of 6.8% in real terms.

They are telling us that an excellent job was done, and they deserve a pat on the back. It reminded me of my mother nagging me not to complain so much.

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Overall Fiscal Position - Revised 2012 stands at a surplus of $3,858 million. 2011 stood at $4,003 million.

But see here, the overall budget surplus for 2011 (reported last year 2012), was $2,320 million.

I'm not sure the figure for 2011 was final the last I checked. I'm guessing after 2012 the additional plus and minuses come into play? Feel free to enlighten me where the extra 2000 million came from, I'm not familiar with the system.

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Thus ends Budget 2013 from a novice point of view, I am indeed reading the numbers out of my own interest. That being said, my personal view stands that we should invest more money in individual singaporeans for health, housing, and education.

- Reduce or remove the number of scholarships for foreigners, unless it is for diplomatic purposes.

- Good move on reducing HDB prices, but do provide more rebates for full Singapore citizens.

- I don't mind the rich buggers coming in, and I don't see myself as serving them at all. Pay us taxes, and we'll give you a safe haven. So far, I have not seen any Singaporeans needing to kow tow to them.

- Schemes for SMEs are excellent, but I hope to see the ministry do something about educating employers on fair wages. The 40% rebate on increments is a good start, yet I feel that employers should be educated on why sharing their profit with their staff (increments/bonuses/etc.) would be beneficial to the company.

- Here's a little nugget, last year's ministerial headcount:

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The Death of Literature

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The death of literature will be frightening, I don't want a country run by calculative smart asses with no soul.

‎"The number of students taking pure literature at the O levels fell from 16,970 (47.9% of the Secondary 4 cohort) in 1992 to 7,322 (21.8%) in 2001, to a mere 3,000 (9%) last year." 

The Death of Literature Means a Dearth in the Quality of Life.
By Dr Loh

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And for today's WTF moment:

"In 1941, a magical humminbird visited the People of North Korea foretelling the birth of Kim Jong Il. 

Later that year, the hummingbird's prophecy was fulfilled atop Mount Paektu, the highest mountain ever. Kim Jong Il emerged, walking out from his mother's Patriotic and Revolutionary Vagina six months prematurely and without the aid of a physician, thus rendering the Korean medical community irrelevant. In shame, all doctors fled our Great and Innovation Nation never to return."

Dear Leader, I see now that Scientology is not the only nut job in world.

For more Dear Leader epic-ness, here's a short list of his greatness. You can ignore the Jesus second half.

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